CONTAINS SPOILERS

Prologue

I discovered HIMYM only in 2016. I was crashing on my friend’s couch, and had lots of time to kill waiting for a response from the bazillion job applications I had sent out. With the TV in front of me the whole day, I logged onto his Netflix account & got introduced to HIMYM. Initially, it was amusing to follow Barney’s antics and Marshall & Lilly’s adorably cringe moments, while Ted’s pursuit for love seeming more of an annoying distraction.

But as I binged season after season, the writing behind the characters started getting real and I was able to appreciate the show more. I started to care about the characters’ (arguably bizarre) journey more since many of us go through what they do in those 8 years. It only helps that the show had a clever listing of soundtracks placed at pivotal moments. Till date, HIMYM remains my go-to comfort binge-watch. Even though it is inconceivable for it to get made in 2023, certain moments resonate with the fans long after the series concluded.

*Just to be clear this doesn’t forgive the season finale in any way.

#1. Cope with being stuck in life when absolutely everyone around you is (or seem to be) getting ahead

The central character of the show Ted Mosby feels constantly stuck in life and he isn’t simply able to move forward in his professional or personal life. This is only exacerbated when you look at what is happening around him. His best friend and roommate (Marshall) has everything happening for him. Within the first few initial seasons, Marshall gets married to his girlfriend, buys an apartment in New York, and is already a lawyer in a top firm without having to go through the grind. Meanwhile Barney is already a top corporate and he is comfortable being where he is — the opposite of being stuck.

it is relatable to many of us in our 20s and 30s who feel stuck and just dont seem to be able to get a break, while constantly seeing things progressing in our friends’ lives

Ted carries this constant self-awareness throughout the series even though he is happy for his friends and is generally altruistic. I am pretty sure that it is relatable to many of us in our 20s and 30s who feel stuck and just dont seem to be able to get a break, while constantly seeing things progressing in our friends’ lives. It becomes a constant battle to not wallow in self-pity, swallowing the creeping feelings of envy, and yet show up as a good friend to celebrate your friends’ successes. We have all been there, dealt with it and managed to stay on the brighter side.

This self awareness reaches a crescendo during the meltdown Ted has when he is giving toasts at his friends’ weddings (Classic Schmosby mix).

#2. Struggling with career and workplace dynamics

By season finale, we have an architecture professor (with a NY skyskraper to his credit), a professional art collector, a famous journalist, a judge and a Wall street corporate-turned-blogger. How did they get there?

One thing I really loved about HIMYM is that it doesn’t hesitate to talk about the nitty gritty part about getting your career going. Ted had a hard time in his career. He worked long hours for an eccentric boss who put him on mundane tasks, got fired, got fired again, tried starting up to only fail, and got burnt out to the point of being disillusioned about what he wanted to be. If not for Barney, and later Tony, he wouldn’t have gotten the much deserved break.

It doesn’t hurt to have a few well-connected well-wishers by your side

It doesn’t hurt to have a few well-connected well-wishers by your side, and HIMYM doesn’t shy away from recognizing it. Marshall too benefited tremendously from his friendship with Barney in his initial career whether it was his internship or the subsequent stint at Goliath National Bank. Applying for jobs and waiting for responses the good-old fashioned way really didn’t yield him any results other than increase his underpants radius. I am pretty sure many in the job-seeking phase can relate to this.

One needs to sell themselves hard and loud to be seen or heard.

In yet another occasion, Barney’s pep talk to Robin on what one needs to do to get hired when she was facing eminent deportation got a few important things right. While his methods were ridiculous and funny, bordering on scamming a potential employer, the fundamental premise was on point. One needs to sell themselves hard and loud to be seen or heard. Barney wasn’t going to shy away from it. Nothing & everything is posimpible for him.

I can go on with more examples from the show like the Captain giving Lily a chance to be an art collector without any prior experience. It helps to have connections.

#3. We take bad decisions when we are vulnerable without thinking it through even though it completely feels right at the time

To be clear, I am NOT talking about the alcohol-fueled rebound hook-up trope that has been done to death in American sitcoms.

I am talking about real life-altering decisions that are taken with a sober mind even though it looks absolutely bonkers in retrospect. Ted has been guilty of doing this time and again — to the point of single-handedly driving the show’s plot for several seasons. For instance, at his mother’s wedding to Clint Ted feels nowhere near to getting married, has a nervous breakdown and takes off abruptly only to buy a house online in the middle of the night! He reasons that he has crossed off buying the house from his to-do list and can now focus on finding the ‘one’. However, he later realizes that the the house is not livable and he has been grifted.

A much bigger example that comes to my mind is his time with Stella in season 3 and 4, portrayed by the exuberant Sarah Chalke. We (along with his friends) saw all the red flags. First, it was him deciding to woo his doctor, which is at odds with her professional conduct. Then, there was this decision to move to New Jersey for her when he very clearly hated the idea of leaving New York City. By this time even his friends had started to see the impending car wreak and held the famous ‘intervention’. This only pushed him to propose to her and ‘disappear into someone else’s wedding’ as Robin puts it. We all knew where it was headed and yet felt bad for him when he got left at the altar. Because we GET it. We take bad decisions when we are vulnerable, but yet we take them in good faith.

We take bad decisions when we are vulnerable, but yet we take them in good faith.

#4. The heart wants what it wants… And therefore it is going to be left hurting for long afterwards

This is something that you wouldn’t want to accept but yet realize over time. We all find ourselves putting ourselves out there for people, jobs or anything really that we hold dear and still end up short. Even though, we eventually learn to move on to newer and better things, it really isn’t that easy to let go fully. There is always going to be that lingering ache long after it’s gone even though you are in a much better place.

Barney’s childhood abandonment issues is the first example that comes to my mind. Barney spent his childhood without meeting his biological father (Jerome), believing a talk show host to be his dad to the point, he was comfortable with this delusion later in his life. However, he reconciles with Jerome later who has a family now in the suburbs. Although he made peace earlier with the fact that his mother was enough for him, he still couldn’t let go of not having a father around while he was growing up. The emotions gushed out when he found out that his half brother was named after his dad. Neil Patrik Harris eloquently portrays the pain he feels when he asks him, “why couldn’t you have been the lame suburban dad to me?”. In his heart, Barney still yearns for the childhood he couldn’t have.

Even though, we eventually learn to move on to newer and better things, it really isn’t that easy to let go fully

Throughout the show, Ted is in a constant tussle with everything else in his life on one side and his feelings for Robin on the other. A lot of his irrational behaviour through out the seasons can be traced to this. This is because he just can’t let go of Robin which is further complicated by the fact that his best friend was going to marry her. Even then, he was going all over the place to get the perfect wedding present for her. No wonder why he wanted to move to Chicago towards the end of the show. One would have hoped that meeting the mother (Tracy) would change it. But looking at the series finale, I am not quite sure about it.

#5. We constantly need new beginnings in life.. with some good music in the background if possible.

HIMYM doesn’t really rely on cliff-hangers to keep you hooked to the narrative. The writing rather employs new beginnings to drive the plot forward — opening up a lot of possibilities, rather than having to stick to plot resolution. And they do it repeatedly throughout the show! Very much like seasons, we need to constantly go through new beginnings to keep growing. Each time, renewed hope brings energy back into life.

we need to constantly go through new beginnings to keep growing

It only helps that they skillfully employ soundtrack in the background. One of my favorite moments that tastefully demonstrated this was in season 4 finale where we see the friends taking a literal leap from the roof of their apartment to the next. Everyone had their share of problems during the season and needed a fresh start in a big way. As Ted narrates, taking that metaphorical leap led him to the best job he ever had. The background track, Prophets by AC Newman only adds to the moment.

However, the best one in the series has to be one in season 8 finale. This is the episode where they reveal the mother (Tracy) for the first time. She is heading to play at Barney & Robin’s wedding and the reveal lives up completely to the hype. Ted on the other hand is preparing to leave New York after attending the wedding. The entire sequence of events is happening parallelly, with the overlaying track, The Simple Song by The Shins in the background. The entire three minutes track was beautiful and set up a new beginning (the final one for the fans of the show).

Epilogue

This post was really just about me sharing how a well-written sitcom lives rent-free in fans’ minds and hearts even a decade after the show is off-air. There are many more relatable moments from the show. But that’s up for another post. So until then..

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